Men’s Club News

More to Come


Year End Wishes, Thoughts and Resolutions

Harry: Isn’t it time to put the Chicken Pot Pie onto the menu as a permanent selection? I realize Jason’s hasn’t printed a new menu since the last time the Constitution was amended, but, gee, this is the 20th Century!!

Ernie: A wish for the New Year: Peace on Earth and good will towards man! Sure, impossible to conceive as long as the Affordable Care Act remains in effect, but something, at least, to think about.

Barry: It gets a little tiresome, ordering the gigantic ‘Fontina Bleu’ cheeseburger, consuming half each fortnight, and having to wrap up the rest to take home. Considering we’re such good customers, couldn’t Jason’s simply wrap up our leftovers and freeze them, to be thawed and served two weeks hence?

George: Something’s got to be done. If our government continues to give away free health care, long-term unemployment insurance, food stamps, etc., it’s altogether possible that the unfortunate among us might prosper and live long lives. Why, they might live to be sixty-five years of age. Like real people! Long enough, in fact, to receive free health care, long-term pensions, etc. Something’s got to be done!!!

Lee: Let’s repeal both Obamacare and the Affordable Care Act!!

Ed: No doubt about it: the salad bar would be much more appealing and tasty if we could only get rid of Obamacare!

Larry: Ditto the pot pie!

Barry: Right on. Plus, I’ve been having second thoughts about freezing that cheeseburger.

Darryl: Congress should pass an ‘obscenity’ tax of $10,000 on every individual making more than half a million a year. In one brilliant stroke, we could raise enough money to repair our infrastructure, bolster our schools, put people to work and end all this silly talk about excessive debt! And no one would be any worse off!
But it does smack of socialism, doesn’t it? Maybe we should just repeal the Affordable Care Act.

George: Yeah! And while we’re repealing Obamacare, let’s also think about impeaching Darryl.

Bob: Clearly we would have had the temple’s mortgage paid off long ago, if not for the Affordable Care Act. To say nothing about more aid to Israel and further sanctions on Iran.

Ray: That’s it! More sanctions. For the coming year, I’d sanction both the salad bar and the fish & chips.

George: Got to be careful what you wish for: A sanction can be either an endorsement or a restriction. Which is why, in 2014, I wish people wouldn’t vote for anyone who sanctions the Affordable Care Act.

Me: Whoa, George, one wish per person. For the new year, I’ve decided to join my colleagues David Pogue and Walt Mossberg, who, foreseeing the end of print journalism, have forsaken their columns in the NY Times and Wall Street Journal, respectively, and now plan to write only online. As the Shofar transitions to a digital only rag, instead of being a real rag rag, I’m considering limiting my scribbling to my MySpace blog and putting this column up on Netscape.

Considering we didn’t lose a single Men’s Club member to ptomaine poisoning, it hasn’t really been a bad year. Then again, things could always be better. Jason’s really could get a new menu, and one of us could win the Megabucks lottery. In no particular order.